Are your expectations too much from your child?

Are your expectations too much from your child?

As a parent, we want our kid to excel in everything and want them to be successful. You would want them to be involved and come up with a variety of interests. You would want them to be productive and in all this, you may elevate your expectations from them which may be good.

However, when you send your kids to different classes, make them be a part of every extracurricular activity and want them to make time for their hobbies as well and always excel.

This becomes too much a load on the child and tends to lose interest in everything after some time.  As a parent, you need to check if your expectations are too high for your child?

However, parental expectations can help kids perform well academically, but it may affect the other way if set up too high. So here are 5 signs that you are setting up higher expectations than required.

1. You Criticize More Than You Praise

Concentrating on every small thing your kid isn’t doing right, you ignore everything he did right. However, many parents do not consider praising their kids is good and feel that their mistakes should be pointed to correct their kids for better.

praising her kid

Giving out a lot of criticism will not inspire your kid to do better, in any case. Nobody likes to be constantly told or spoken to, about all the failed attempts. Try to notice and appreciate your kid’s right moves in every aspect of life.

2. You are Over-involved in your child’s activities:

When you involve in everything of your child and give instructions about everything to your kid, be it homework, chores, or play, you are trying to micromanage their life and putting too much pressure.
While it is essential to be engaged with your kid’s life, micromanaging his activities could affect his progress.
If you need your child to perform well, let him make mistakes and face it’s results when suitable. It may always be difficult to see your child do poorly for a test he did not study or missed an opportunity just because he didn’t put in the needed efforts, so you need to remember that these experiences will be a bigger lesson to them.

Pressurize your kid

3. Pressurize your kid that everything needs to be done right:

If you express it to your child that every situation is “do or die” then you are surely putting in, too much of pressure on them. Saying, “you have only one chance to perform well in front of the coach or you would never be the captain” or “You need to get an ‘A’ in the test to be able to stand out or you will always be like the rest.” When you say so, you show that there is only 1 chance to do things right.

While there are circumstances in life where that sort of attitude may be practical—like an interview for a job or college could be given a single chance.

Do not expect your kid to take everything as a competition and let them know that there is more than 1 chance to shine and many a time the results won’t affect their entire life.

4. You Draw Comparisons to Other Children:

Continually reminding your kid, things like, “Your sister made it to the top round in the spelling bee since she practised all the time,” or “Did you see what number of points Johnny got today? I figure you could score a larger number of points than he did only if you rehearsed more.”
Comparing your kid to other children all the time places him in a constant challenge with people around him and doesn’t let him consider his independence.

At a point when children are put under stress by being compared with others, it can lower their ability to do things as they feel they won’t succeed. They may give up soon, feeling that they could however not be able to do better. Encourage your kid to turn to be better by competing with himself.

5. You’re Losing Your Cool Often

Putting kids under a great deal of pressure means guardians frequently feel the weight too. At a point when children aren’t meeting parental desires, it makes parents soon frustrated. You lose your temper just because your kid isn’t performing just as you’d like, by saying this, you might be putting a lot of pressure on them.

Asking your kid to excel at something he isn’t interested in, will only cause to be a stress for everybody. Encourage your kid to involve in activities that interest him more and he will surely perform well.

Keep in mind that you need your kids to feel like they can move in the direction of an objective – whatever it might be – and accomplish success too. However, they should also have some time and spirit left to simply be a child. Be a kid with your kid sometimes and let them grow. Happy parenting.

Summary:

1. High expectations do nothing good in the long run.
2. Certain signs show that you are expecting too much when you tend to control every tiny activity or Lose your patience in front of your child.
3. You may criticize more, compare your kid with others and/or expect them to do everything right.

Are your expectations too much from your child

You Criticize More Than You Praise

You are Over-involved in your child's activities

Pressurize your kid that everything needs to be done right

You Draw Comparisons to Other Children

You're Losing Your Cool Often

High expectations on child

Malathi

Malathi A Ganesh is a B. Com Graduate, NTT, M.A (Lit), PGDEA (PG in Education Administration), PGDCA (PG Diploma in Computer Application), DTE (Diploma in Teaching English), ICEPT (International Certificate in Education Preschool Teaching) from Singapore and B. Ed. She has been in the field of education for the past 20 years and has an experience of running her own pre-school She is the Founder & Director Academics of Smartkidz Educare India Pvt Ltd with 275+ play schools Pan India. She is an Educationist and a Child Psychologists by profession who wants to fulfill her dream of giving Quality Education to children in their earlier years. She is also into conducting positive parenting workshops, which talks about effective child rearing. She has conducted numerous parenting workshops in all her pre schools, schools and MNC’s.

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