What happens when the child does not care for consequences or timeouts?
When you send your child to timeout or you take away his benefits for trouble-making, you expect that the consequences should bother a bit so that it will help him to settle on better decisions next time.
Therefore, it could be very disappointing if your kid doesn’t appear to care about the consequences you give him. Maybe he goes back to doing similar misconduct within 10 minutes of you sending him to a timeout. Or on the other hand, possibly, he chuckles when you reveal to him that he’s being punished. So here are a few questions you need to consider in such cases.
Does He Really Not Care? Your child may say, “I don’t care,” when a parent takes away his cell phone since he doesn’t need his parents to realize that it upsets him. But, losing his mobile benefits may really bother him.
Pay little attention to your child’s remarks about your consequences. Give more consideration to his behaviour. On the other hand, if his behaviour changes after you’ve given out a consequence, take it as a sign that your timeout has worked.
Is it discipline or a consequence? What’s the difference, have you ever wondered? Possibly not much, however, we have to pause for a minute and distinguish between the two to know why you should choose consequence over discipline. Here are a few differences:
Consequences have a reason.
Disciplines make us (the guardians) feel “even.”
Consequences help kid progress in the direction of something.
Disciplines help a kid work OFF something.
Consequences address mind and future conduct.
Disciplines address past conduct.
Are the consequences excessively indulgent? Maybe they couldn’t care less because your consequence truly isn’t an outcome that could bother him/her or make a difference. Warnings are no consequences. Saying, “Behave well or we’ll have to leave you alone” isn’t a consequence. It is the warning of a result.
Is it accurate to say that you are Using the Right Type of Consequences? If at all, your timeouts don’t change his/her conduct, examine the sort of consequence you are using. While taking away cell phone benefits might be a suitable consequence for a cell phone violation, it may not function well for a fight between siblings.
Try to attach the consequence legitimately to the mistake. If your kid rides his bicycle out of the said place, take away his bike benefits. Similarly, if your child does not keep back his toys, take away his toys from him.
Is the Time Frame Appropriate? The best consequences are given just after the misconduct. So if it’s two weeks before you had your 5-year-old colour on the walls in the guest room, a consequence won’t make sense at this point of time.
The duration of time the timeout keeps going is another factor to be considered. Similarly, you place a 12-year-old in a timeout for 2 minutes, he likely won’t care. Actually, at this age, he may think that going to his room is a benefit. Taking away his video games for 3 months is not a smart thought either. Consequences that go on too long makes children lose interest to carry on.
Is my child too furious to even think about caring? If tempers are running high and you have quite recently given out a consequence, you may get an answer – “I don’t care !”. Try not to give that a chance to discourage you or the child. Simply stick with the consequence (ensuring it is a consequence and not a discipline) and ensure that outrage doesn’t influence you.
Moreover, always remember your reason behind the timeouts and know that if the kid doesn’t care about it then is it true or is he/she just saying. And if it’s true, you now know why that could be and you just need a more effective consequence.
Although, never be too hard on your child. They are still growing up and all you want them to do is learn from their mistakes and realise from the timeouts you may have set for them.