How should we respond when children end up in throwing tantrums?
Tantrums are a normal part of child development. It usually occurs in children if they are not provided with, what they want or desire to have. For instance, if a child desperately wants to use a mobile phone or wants to go out and play and these things are controlled by the parents, by not letting them do that, eventually leads to a child’s aggressive behaviour.
Childs usually react by throwing things on the ground, kicking against the floor or the wall, crying which leads to redness in their face and sometimes even hurting themselves, like biting their fingers or pulling their hair, etc and hunger is one of the most common cause.
Children may also have tantrums to seek attention or to avoid something. Parents often blame themselves because of their poor parenting when the real cause lies in the combination of a child’s personality, immediate circumstances, and developmentally normal behaviour. Tantrums can have a negative and positive impact on children.
NEGATIVE IMPACTS INCLUDE:
2. Hurting themselves
4. Immoral behaviour
POSITIVE IMPACT MAY INCLUDE:
1. Extinguishing the emotion
2. Calling themselves by crying out
3. Learning to solve things etc.,
Temper tantrums can be frustrating for any parent. It is better if a parent does not look at it as a disaster and uses it more as an opportunity for educating your child. This usually occurs from the age of 1 to 3. It may not be the same for all the children, few may have tantrums very often and few may have them rarely.
It is a way of expressing, that they are upset over something. Tantrums also help children to develop skills in dealing with the problem over time. These tantrums may reduce from time to time, when language skills are starting to develop.
Children usually want independence, freedom, and control over the environment more than they can handle. He does not want to be controlled but wants to control which is beyond their reach. This gives them the feeling of ‘I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN’. But once when the child comes to know that, they cannot handle it on their own, they can’t have everything they want, that is when they put up tantrums.
HOW TO AVOID TANTRUMS:
1. Giving positive uplift to the situation, which can help a child to calm himself. Make it a habit of rewarding or praising your child with positive behaviour.
2. Do not stress over your child – If you feel that your child needs rest, make sure that he gets enough rest, instead of planning for something else.
3. Make a wise choice: When your child requests you for something make a wise choice by understanding whether it is a need or a want.
4. Distraction: You can distract your child by offering something which attracts him more or changes the environment by taking him outside to another room.
5. Keep the objects out of the site- You can avoid the situation by keeping the things out of sight and out of reach which are not meant for him
6. Let them take control over little things- Make sure that you give the freedom of choice to your child, over little things like “Do you want to play with the doll or do you want to sleep?” or “Do you want to eat apple or mango?”
HOW TO TACKLE:
Like that saying goes “KILL HATRED WITH LOVE” In order to subside your child’s anger, you need to pour as much love as you can. Give them all the love they need, you will immediately see the change in your child’s behaviour.
Do not show your anger on children, it will mentally break them. Make sure that you always remain calm and cool, even if your child is aggressive. If this does not work out, the best thing one can do is to ignore. The moment you start ignoring your child, he will stop that behaviour.
Children are no good at listening but have never failed to imitate their parents. Be very careful about your behaviour in the first place. If your child does not stay calm even if you said, then, just stop giving explanations and proceed to the next activity by distracting them from that particular thing.
Now once you know that your child is calm, make sure that you hug him and tell that he is loved no matter what he is and praise him for the act.
Be patient and stay calm.