How to reduce aggression in the teens?
Teenage years are always the difficult ones as your child undergoes a huge number of changes be it physical, emotional or mental. A part of their brain is affected and begin to develop. All this is a process of understanding and reaching the age of maturity.
During this period, your kid may tend to react differently when he had to face different emotions and different situations. They sometimes lose control and patience and respond aggressively. This may even happen due to some sort off abuse, peer pressure or addictions.
It may be a tough time for parents and you may tend to question your own parenting. But know that this is never about you as a parent, its more about the immediate environment and the constant changes in your kid’s life. However, you could always help your kid deal with it and learn how to react in a better possible manner. Here are a few things you could note and do:
1. Be a role model yourself: Your kid will always learn more from you than others. If you shout at others or be violent, they will feel it’s a normal thing to do and find it to be a mode to let out their emotions.
However, when they see you calm in tough times, especially with them, for instance, they may have done something wrong, but you deal with it with all your calmness, your child will learn from it.
2. Counselling: You could take your kid to a counsellor if you feel that the situation is going out of control and you aren’t able to deal well. The counsellor will be trained, and your kid will be able to share better without caring about being judged.
Although, talking to a trained and licensed counsellor would be recommended. Also, it will encourage your child to take responsibility for their behaviour as they would have to report to someone and would try to improve their relations.
3. Medication: If your teen has been diagnosed with a psychiatric or neurological problem, like epilepsy or depression, taking the right prescribed medication can reduce aggression. Great care is to be taken during such conditions and parents need to know that your kid needs you the most here.
4. Home Rules: You should create a set of home rules that your teens have to follow whether they like it or not. Doing so, your kid will have no chance but to abide by the rules, when mentioned clearly the rules along with consequences in advance. The consequences should be logical and related to the issue, as the motive behind is not to punish them but to make them realize and learn.
5. Try to use less challenging and less emotional language when communicating: If there is an argument your child may start to behave differently. Always make sure you communicate well with your kid and by doing so, you will also set as an example.
So instead of saying “Did you notice the time you are coming back home?” you could say “You are so late and all this while I was very much worried about your whereabouts.” Also, instead of demanding answers to questions, you could present it in a better way, for instance, “You look worried! Have you got something to tell? If so, then I am willing to hear from you now.”
6. Relaxation Techniques: You should begin to teach your child certain effective relaxation techniques to manage anger and deal with stress. It could be meditation or involved in something they love to do.
These techniques will help your child when having to deal with peer pressure, academic stress or any other worrying. It will improve their aggressive behaviour and help to a great extent. However, you also need to teach them how to use these techniques when they are angry or stressed.
Although, trying to know the causes of your kid’s behaviour or stress may help you a lot to avoid a certain situation and provide your child with what he needs to improve. Always be supportive because that’s what your child needs the most.
Always allow them to put forth their views while you keep your calm and never respond immediately when angry. Instead, talk when both of you cool off. You need to be aware of the risk factors and seek guidance if needed. Let their teachers be aware of it. Lastly, it’s a part of teenage years and will eventually pass by. Happy Parenting.
1. Aggression is common among teens and if dealt well, could be managed.
2. As a parent, you should always try to be a role model yourself.
3. If you feel like your child needs counselling, go ahead or if diagnosed with a mental issue go for medication.
4. Always try to know the reasons behind their stress and behaviour so as to help them better and set up some rules and consequences well in advance.
5. Teach your child, stress management and anger control techniques to control their emotions better.