How can you put a stop to false excuses given by your child?

How can you put a stop to false excuses given by your child?

Why do children give excuses? They use excuses as a defence mechanism to be saved from any consequences of their actions. Children often tend to make excuses to escape from uneasy and awkward situations.

It is pretty normal and common for children to make excuses just as adults did when they were young too. Excuses are given out to hide from the real causes of the problems. All kids do this to wriggle out from their mistakes or to justify their bad behaviour.

Excuses are common among teenagers. It is a part of their growth, but this shouldn’t turn into something chronic. It may start subtly when they see that they can get out of complex situations easily with the help of a mere excuse. It gives them a negative boost to continue with it.

The trouble begins when children stop taking responsibility for their actions and start blaming others. It creates a negative effect on their life. Your goal is to teach him how to take responsibility for his actions while he aims to get out of punishments.

It’s important that this bad habit is curbed in their early stages of life or else it might create bigger problems for them in the future. As he grows up and becomes an adult, the people in his life will be less tolerating and won’t accept or even listen to his excuses. No one will put up with his or her excuses. Handling such situations at a later stage can be a difficult task.

Catching your child at the right time: If your child is frequently using excuses, then the best way to prevent this is by catching them red-handed. Confront them directly when you find them blaming someone else for their actions. Turn it around and let them know that no matter what, they are accountable for what they have done.

Catching your child at the right time

Focus on the issue: Do not get disturbed by the excuses, instead, get into the depth of the problem and understand the reason behind his excuse and bad behaviour. And find ways to solve it. Don’t let them get away from the situation by changing the subject. Both of you have to face the real challenge and address it accordingly.

Re-enact: Make your child re-enact the incident. In this way, you’ll get more clarity about what happened and you can help your child realize his mistake.

Active: Be more active and involved in your child’s life. You can be a friend, but as a parent, you need to put limits and teach them rules. As they grow up you need to guide and coach them through life.

Be vigilant: It takes time to own their responsibilities and not give excuses. They are children and they might repeat the same. Just because you have addressed it once, doesn’t mean it will stop. You’ll have to be vigilant and keep a check on their behaviour.

Stay calm and be supportive:Try to stay calm and focused when you talk to your child. Don’t get angry while you are talking to them. You need to teach them the right, with patience. Make them understand their wrongdoings and be supportive instead of just scolding or shouting. Shouting might trigger fear in them and they might make more excuse or revolt more than before.

Stay calm and be supportive with your child

Amends:Once your child has realized his mistake doesn’t just leave them with a warning. Instead, use a mild punishment and make him amend his mistakes. They need to know what they did was wrong and shouldn’t be repeated. Everyone makes mistakes, but they must realize it and amens their mistakes.

At times being a strict parent is necessary but remember that you don’t have to be harsh on them. Let them know that there are some rules to be followed. It’s not wrong to make mistakes but giving excuses, blaming others and not being accountable for their mistakes is wrong. They must realize that and be aware of what they have done and make the necessary corrections.

SUMMARY:

• Children give excuses as a defence mechanism to be saved from any consequences of their actions. Children often tend to make excuses to escape from uneasy and awkward situations.
• The trouble begins when children stop taking responsibility for their actions and start blaming others. It creates a negative effect on their life.
• Your goal is to teach him how to take responsibility for his actions while he aims to get out of punishments.
• It’s important that this bad habit is curbed in their early stage of life or else it might create bigger problems for them in the future. As he grows up and becomes an adult the people in his life will be less tolerating and won’t even listen to his excuses.
• Let them know that there are some rules to be followed. It’s not wrong to make mistakes but giving out excuses, blaming others and not being accountable for their mistakes is wrong.

How can you put a stop to false excuses given by your child

Catching your child at the right time

Focus on the issue

Re-enact

Active

Be vigilant

Stay calm and be supportive

Amends

Malathi

Malathi A Ganesh is a B. Com Graduate, NTT, M.A (Lit), PGDEA (PG in Education Administration), PGDCA (PG Diploma in Computer Application), DTE (Diploma in Teaching English), ICEPT (International Certificate in Education Preschool Teaching) from Singapore and B. Ed. She has been in the field of education for the past 20 years and has an experience of running her own pre-school She is the Founder & Director Academics of Smartkidz Educare India Pvt Ltd with 275+ play schools Pan India. She is an Educationist and a Child Psychologists by profession who wants to fulfill her dream of giving Quality Education to children in their earlier years. She is also into conducting positive parenting workshops, which talks about effective child rearing. She has conducted numerous parenting workshops in all her pre schools, schools and MNC’s.

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