How to deal with the disrespectful behaviour of your teenager?
Disrespectful behaviour in teenagers – It means teenagers can get frustrated easily, with themselves and with others due to external situations. It makes them impulsive and subject to mood swings that are not observed in adults. It is like a heady cocktail that can turn teenagers into emotional wrecks.
Understanding that there’s a biological basis for your teenager’s difficult behaviour, helps you to focus on the behaviour rather than the person. When teenagers are disrespectful to their parents, we should understand that they have emotional needs that aren’t being met. Sometimes the disrespectful behaviour is a way of getting attention and in other times, it’s an indication that they don’t feel accepted.
Sit down with your teenager and tell them that you’re there for him/her if she or he wants to talk about something. Keep reminding them that you love them unconditionally. This is because you should note that adolescents often feel powerless, As part of the process of growing up, teenagers need to differentiate themselves from their parents.
The most important thing you can do is to model the kind of behaviour you want to see in your teenager by yourself. Many parents call their children disrespectful and then model the very same behaviour they’re criticising. Remember that your children are constantly watching you as a role model.
If you want to instil respect for you in your teenagers, you need to adopt a respectful attitude towards them, towards your spouse, and towards people outside the family and be a good role model to your child.
It is better to ignore little disrespectful behaviour such as shrugging the shoulders, raised eyebrows, feigned boredom or muttering, disrespectful behaviour in teenagers is common and is part of the process of growing up.
This is because your child is learning to express and test out their own independent ideas, so there will be times when you disagree. Developing independence is a key part of growing up and is a good sign that your child is trying to take more responsibility, but he’s also still learning about how to handle disagreement and differing opinions appropriately.
It is usually observed that your child’s moods can change quickly because of the teenage brains development, your child isn’t always able to handle her changing feelings and reactions to everyday or unexpected things. And this can sometimes lead to over-sensitivity, which can, in turn, lead to grumpiness or rudeness.
But blatant rudeness should never be tolerated. Not addressing this issue will simply lead to an escalation of such behaviour.
If you’re concerned about your teenager’s behaviour, here are some things you can do:
• Consider seeking professional support – including school counsellors, teachers and your grandparents or elder people.
• Discuss about any issue as a family, to work out ways of supporting each other.
• Avoid heat-of-the-moment decisions.
• Refuse to be drawn into a debate because you can’t think straight when you’re angry. Once you’ve made your decision and stated your reason, stop and look at your child in the eye and don’t say anything else. You’d be surprised how powerful that is.”
• Stay calm: yelling or getting irritated shifts the focus from your child’s behaviour to your anger, and sets you up for a power struggle debate.
• Set clear consequences – Explain to your child that if he forgets to put away his things properly, he won’t be able to find them when he needs it.
Younger kids usually end up throwing tantrums because they don’t know how to express their needs, tweens and teens have tantrums too, especially during puberty when they’re experiencing hormonal fluctuations. Instead of throwing themselves on the ground shrieking, they’re more likely to sulk (the silent tantrum), argue or slam doors.
Don’t Forget to Notice Their Good Behaviour
Maybe you’re thinking that your kid is constantly disrespectful but sometimes your child does manage to get it right, but the bad times far outweigh any progress. Kids are similar to adults, constant correction instils resentment. If you keep taunting your child on his poor choices, he might feel there’s just no way he can win.
What you can do Instead:
Kids respond well to praise, not only does it feel good to be praised, but it also gives your child important feedback of good behaviour and it reinforces those skills